I Have a Life, and So Does He

Meeting in the Middle: Loving Without Losing Ourselves

There comes a moment in every relationship where we must pause and ask ourselves a powerful question:

“Are we walking side by side, or are we trying to walk each other’s path?”

Lately, I’ve come to a quiet truth—one that brings both peace and freedom.

I have a life.

My husband has his.

We came together out of choice, not out of need or obligation. And in that choice lies the essence of love—not to live for each other, but to live alongside each other.

We cannot live each other’s lives. Our experiences, emotions, and daily rhythms will always be uniquely our own. No matter how deeply we love someone, we still carry our own responsibilities, dreams, moods, and energy.

What we can do is meet at points.

Moments where we cross paths intentionally—with warmth, joy, and shared presence. A morning coffee together. A weekend getaway. A laugh at the end of a long day. These are the bridges between two lives lived independently but with love.

And here’s the most liberating part: It’s okay to retreat into our own space again after that. It’s okay to be different, to think differently, to process life uniquely.

The success of a relationship isn’t measured by how much we merge into one another—but by how gently, joyfully, and respectfully we meet in the in-between.

This isn’t disconnection.

It’s maturity.

It’s respect.

It’s freedom within togetherness.

So today, I remind myself:

I don’t need to change who I am to meet someone else’s expectations of love.

I just need to show up fully, when we meet—authentic, present, and kind.

And then allow both of us the space to return to our own lives, our own growth, our own truth.